So, I've managed to (somehow) keep relatively busy during my first two weeks of unemployment. I don't think I'm quite used to not having to stress about stupid shit, so I'm like frantically trying to fill my time with all types of activities and projects...
I wonder if my last job gave me very mild PTSD, because I feel like I'll be punished if I"m not insanely busy? hmm...can I claim that with the state?
It kind of dawned on me, like total-epiphany-style, that I should be using my skills to make things for my offspring. Like, I was in mid-conversation with Dean about the baby's room when all of a sudden I exclaimed "Oh my god... I can make things!" and my husband, sweetly, looked at me like "um..ya?"
So I've started to make baby items (bibs, burpees, and baby birdies) I have also cleaned out my painting inventory... so that I have fresh canvas to begin working on the baby's room. So many things that begin with the letter "B" : baby, bibs, burpees, birdies...beginnings...
Anyway, it's all been kinda fun :)
This whole transition to baby-mode has been....interesting, different from the first time around. Everything is now focused on the baby, and making sure the room and things are all wonderful. I like it, it's neat.
Well, to be completely honest, it's strange, but neat.
I guess the last time I was pregnant, i think the whole experience (even before the craziness) was too new and surreal--and for some reason I was kind of ashamed and rejected the whole notion of motherhood... but, this time I'm embracing it. Partly because of past experiences, but mostly because...I"m in a different stage of my relationship with everything.
It's kinda crazy, because I keep waiting for my "old flame" for creating to come back, but clearly, I'm still failing to realize that what I'm doing right now IS creating things (i.e crocheting, sewing, and soon to be painting a mural in the baby's room...)
Sad realization... I guess because it's not for me, and like because I'm not putting it on etsy for sale, it just doesn't equate to being creative.
I guess I should also take this time off from work to re-evaluate what it means to be an artist, creator, and whatnot. I mean, why does being an artist always have to equate to money? Why can't being creative just be a trait in myself?
I take notice of it in other people who are creative, and often preach it to others "You're an artist, through and through...and mass (or lack-of) production has little to do with the fact that you are an Artist!" But, when it comes down to myself, I feel like If I'm not making a living off of my craft then somehow I'm less than and totally inadequate. ...kind of a hypocrite, huh winnie-chan?
Anyway, I have pictures to post of my creations, but. I'll add them in at another time, because I"m working off of a brand new computer and none of my images are saved onto the drive yet (YAY! thanks to the excellent Husband for getting us a new and beautiful Mac desktop for our office space~~~)
Love to you, you and, you too..
I'll write and post more soon since, as the Rolling Stones soulfully sing, "Tiiiiiiiiiiime is on my side, yes it is..."