Memories of Kalaupapa
This is my kind of year. I'm working on new pieces and trying to absorb new experiences in new ways :) I'm mixing media and kinda loving it!
This series is based on a visit to Kalaupapa. The idea was given to me by one of my husband's closest friends (who actually invited us to join the Kalaupapa one-night stay.) I want to illustrate the time there--the silent energy that surrounds the island. There is a power there that is felt but not seen, and the energy comes from all directions. sometimes striking at once, sometimes coming in waves.
The best memory, to me, was first arriving and seeing this lone lighthouse. there was no sound, and yet so much energy.
My second favorite memory was seeing the millions of stars. So many stars that the sky seemed bright, so many stars to my delight~
This is going to be an on-going long process (not a painting every night kinda deal~) but, I'm looking forward to how everything will unfold.
My, it has been awhile since I written (or even tried to write) one of these babies...
Through a conversation between my best friend and I, I happened to verbalize my new venture into mixed media...
I surprised myself by putting my previous work at my current work into context.
I will firm this up later, but:
"My day-job requires no real thought. I'm an admin assistant...so, I'm rarely ever challenged (mentally)--and while I can't say I'm totally unhappy at work, I can't say I'm happy either. I feel as though I'm always just floating. There is absolutely nothing exciting or remotely surprising to knock me off my feet. So, now more than ever, I look forward to getting to the studio to work. I think that may be why I've decided to go into a realm I've never fully immersed myself in before. The world of mixed media always seemed to experimental for me, and I've always relied on the tried and true.
In fact, because art is like my cathartic release, I believe those past years of only using black ink on paper and patterning everything was a type of therapy. Everything I drew was...predictable...I knew what the outcome would be.
Now, in retrospect, I totally see my drawings as a coping mechanism. I used to think the patterning was a way of decorating my subjects (and that still holds true...my birds, and women) were all extremely decorated to emphasize the beauty of the exterior of the women/birds, but...I constantly repeated patterns from piece to piece, and rarely ever altered the color or style... predictable patterns, the only stable to a (once) unstable girl....
The past 10 years of my life have been filled with unexpected events that caught me off guard and shook me deeply. Things, both good and bad, came out of NOWHERE, and I know you, Dear Reader, think that you can relate because in your mind "we ALL go through unexpected events...", but let me just say, in just these past 10 years I've had to deal with : someone changing genders, a suicide, someone going into an insane asylum, being the other woman, moving 5-6 times, having one of the closest people to me almost die several times, finding real love and getting married, the passing of a child...and those were just the "big" events, that doesn't even come close to the basic unexpected changes in career, and living status... so when I say using predictable patterns was one of my only sources of stability, and therefore used as a coping mechanisms, you and I both see it as clear as day~.
Clean lines, similar expressionless faces, birds that couldn't fly, all covered in a variety of striking and yet soothing repeated patterns.... I can remember sitting at a dimly lit desk and drawing each bird/face and holding my pen tightly and keeping my head close to the paper, carefully drawing in each pattern. With each completed drawing, a sigh of relief---as if I just sub-consciously tackled another problem in my mind...
I have about 100 pieces in black and white...
And now, here I am...I'm experimenting with colors, textures, and medium. What has changed? Well, for one...I've found some real stability in my life: I'm happily married, living with my husband, and even though my mundane day-job is simply that: mundane...it's stable. I have a routine. I have structure. I'm not on my toes trying to plan curriculum for 30 kindergarten aged children (only to find that what I planned won't be taught that day because my class was going crazy...) no, everyday it's the same thing. I clock in, go to my computer, check my e-mail, check the messages...and repeat...
stable predictability. I don't need to draw it because (thank god) i live it... So now, I can have fun in my art~~ so get ready world--fun, fun, fun.
I like to do this at the closing of every month: What do I want to accomplish next month:
1) another dentist appointment
2) finish 2-4 more art pieces
3) finish reading a book
4) start listening to the serial podcast.
5) jog at least 1/2 of the month (it's the shortest month of the year ^_^)
Sounds like a fun February!
love to you all,