Let me love and steal...
5 months of no updates. That should be considered a crime.
I’ve went through several work-induced creative blocks. Sadly, sometimes working for the man causes you to stop working for yourself. Of course, It wasn’t a complete stop. Here are some of my the pieces I did in the past couple of months:
I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning. I have been forced to do “inventory” on my art work, supplies, and general life stuff. And, I have a sad truth: I have too much shit. I know I shouldn’t call my own work shit, but seeing the same object over and over devalues it quicker than a clearance blow-out “everything must go” sale.
I’ve thrown some old art supplies away, and everything that I’ve done in college has either been ripped up or just tossed. A huge lesson happened upon me during this process.
“You can’t take it with you…”
I’ve always been a Sentimental-Sally, a Keepsake-Karen, the Hoarding-Helen of sorts. I’ve kept letters, cards, sketchbooks, and notebooks. I’ve held on to paintings that I did over 15 years ago, yarns that are too pretty to use, supplies that were too expensive to just toss…(sigh)
And although it’s nice to stroll down memory lane, this time around, I had to ask myself: how many times do I have to go down the same road? How many times did I have to see the same image to know that who I have become is who I have always wanted to be?
I guess, there has always a hope that one day I would become extravagantly famous, and a biography would be done on me where having examples of my childhood doodles/college project would hold value in the story piecing together the portrait of “Winnie.”
And, I suppose if I tried again and had kids, maybe showing them my previous artwork would be kind of cool. But, I wouldn’t want my sprouts to be responsible for my trash (that question was the elephant in the room for me this summer…how do you not ruin the lives of your future generation?)
So, I made the executive decision to say goodbye to many of my old sketchbooks and projects. I took some pictures of pieces and with a turned cheek threw the original in the trash.
Sometimes it felt good, sometimes it hurt.
Saying goodbye hurts.
But I had to remind myself that every goodbye leaves space for a hello. A hello for new projects, a hello to new things, to points of view, a new part of me that I now have space for because I finally took the time to go through all of the trash I’ve been holding on so tightly too.
I hope this revelation will be reflected in my new pieces.
I think it will be, because right now, I’m very interested in a much simpler, cohesive and clear, image.
I don’t want to over decorate, I don’t want a lot of lines, I don’t want the baggage of bright colors and textures.
Right now, I’m looking for simple.
Clean and simple…
I feel like this evolution is an echo to the loud voice in my life. Clean, simple, easy love—no complications, no drama, no dumb shit to over clutter my heart and mind. Most importantly, without all of the clutter, the simplicity becomes a thing of value.
It's sad to admit, but I can honestly say that now, at 33, I finally value my life, and spirit.I value my body and soul.
I’m taking better care of myself because I value my life. I’m taking better care of my finances, because I value my future. I’m taking better care of my shit, because one day it won’t be shit to me-- one day I’ll be able to call them my treasures—my precious valuable treasures.
Clean, simple, and valuable treasures.